Heaven to Betsy eVe that I m worthy by killing some innocent individual while he was sleeping or watching TV in the middle of the afternoon but the one where I was sitting around the dining room table on a Sunday afternoon shooting the shit I spent my formative years in dojos studyingverything from tae kwon do to kempo so I know over 100 ways to make your So B. It ears bleed so if you don t get yourself straight and step the fuck off I ll plant your ass at the bottom of a cesspool and I ll work the next 120 hours withoutven batting an Cabaret eyelashYep I might just be the craziest son of a bitch youver met I pop Moxfane tablets like they re caffeine pills I take powernaps in a coat closet and I ll smear a pint of blood all over myself for the right cause I have what you might call a rapid onset addiction to bloodshed and I killed four men while I was still taped to a chair along with countless other fuckers that I d rather not mention since I m in WITSEC so I really have no ualms about killing an innocent or in your case not so innocent individualAnd while you may not think you re a dumbfuck and that you re actually being clever by trying to jump my ass while I m wearing scrubs there are at least forty different kinds of stupidity and over the course of our less than five minute interlude you xhibited very single one of them and probably about a dozen others that haven t ven been medically diagnosed yet So yep you re fucked and that s ven without "Your Latest FixOh And "latest fixOh and you do don t go to Sicily Trust me you ll thank me laterSincerelyDr Pietro Brnwa Bearclaw internPS If you know what s good for you you ll get some Mexican hairless beaver before you diePPS Don t be such a fuckhead fuckheadDISCLAIMER I really liked this book and this voice so much in fact that I couldn t write this review any other wayCross posted at Robert s Reads B 72% More than Satisfactory Notes Falling apart at the Trading Places: The Netherlandish Merchants in Early Modern Venice end it climaxes its penultimate chapter in the most uncomfortable reading moment I vever had This book is A MAY ZING Straight up Please read thisIt s hilarious and wildly disturbing all at the same time Bazell is like the Chuck Palahniuk for sane peopleThis will just be asier if I uote Ron CharlesBeat the Reaper is a hypochondriac s nightmare but a reader s dream Josh Bazell concocted this comic thriller while working as a medical resident at the University of California San Francisco and if anything he describes here is true we should all become Christian ScientistsI want to tell you all about it the ridiculousness of certain parts other parts that made me seethe with anger and the vast cynicism throughout But you just have to read it The main character calls Lech Wa sa a pig faced bitchOne of the other things I like aesthetically anyway is that throughout the chapters there are little pictures of the Grim Reaper running with a scythe a tiny little thing used to indicate a break in the main character s train "OF THOUGHT UNTIL HE HAS THIS THOUGHT BUT RITUALS "thought Until he has this thought But rituals us all into fucking idiots Like those birds that sleep with their heads facing backwards because their ancestors slept with their heads under their wings Plutarch says that carrying new wives across thresholds is stupid because we don t remember that it refers to the rape of the Sabine women and that s fucking Plutarch two thousand years ago We
#still draw the #draw the with a scythe We should draw him driving a John Deere for Archer Daniels MidlandAnd after that the little Reapers throughout the book are featured driving a tractor GeniusDo yourself a favor and read this book Unless you hate things that are awesome An outrageous novel that got me laughing a lot in between painfully gruesome situations a plot worthy of comic books and occasional absurdly implausible sex scenes A young intern of Polish Jewish background Peter Brown tries to save patients from gross incompetence at the worst hospital in Manhattan while popping drugs to keep awake It turns out he is former mob hit man in Witness Protection and his cover is in danger of being blown Much of the tal Utterly ridiculous gratuitously violent highly improbable totally ngrossing lightening paced Why don t people write like this. Clear to Peter that the clock is ticking for both of them He must do whatever it takes to keep him and his patient aliveIt's time to beat the reape. I m a Charlie Huston honk There I admitted it Like the first step out of twelve I recognize my problem And I feel unburdened Free almost I m a Huston holic A junkie for Charlie s magical mushroom prose And like very good Huston holic I m always searching for writers with a similar style Writers that ll grab me by the throat worrying me like a dogEnter Josh Bazell A combination of Huston and Chuck Palahniuk Bazell stuns with his debut novel Beat the Reaper a brutal and humorous medical crime gritfest It s Goodfellas meets House with footnotes Part hitman part healer But with a bedside manner that will have you running out of a hospital uicker than you can say HMO Though this big idea sounds odd the novel works beautifully Like a "Virus That Gets Inside You Always Consuming "that gets inside you always consuming growing Never stopping If you don t have an addiction Beat the Reaper will give you one Namely a finishing the book addiction It s like life Once you start you won t stop until you reach the nd Dr Peter Brown has a past he d like to forget Once a hitter for the mob known as Pietro Bearclaw Brnwa he got out when things went bad testifying against his former Dance Real Slow employers before dropping off the face of thearth courtesy of the Federal Witness Protection Program Relocated and re imagined Peter assumes a new life as an intern at Manhattan Catholic Hospital Helping and treating patients Including one patient who happens to be a mob father with a good memory One who happens to recognize the Pietro in Peter Suddenly Peter must move fast to stay ahead of a vengeful mob looking to mete out mafia justice The type of justice that ll put him into the Manhattan Catholic morgueThe narrative alternates between chapters One plotline focusing on Peter s "current predicament and one The Art of Memoir examining his past as a mobnforcer both "predicament and one The Day Christ Was Born: The True Account of the First 24 Hours of Jesus's Life examining his past as a mobnforcer both teasing out the answers of why he left the life And why he s on the lam The action is intense and the alternating nature of the chapters makes the book incredibly addictive Like literary crack it ll have you greeting the dawn puffy red bags under your yes I stayed up most of the night compelled to finish Even better I was absolutely satisfied once I didBazell never shortchanges the reader peppering Beat the Reaper with a slew of unforgettable
MOMENTS LEADING TO AN ENDING SOleading to an nding so and badass you won t want to miss it And you ll probably never be the same after you ve read it Like Huston Bazell creates dialogue with a street cadence It sounds real and ven importantly it sounds cool Really cool Like you can use it to impress your friends Make them think you re clever Coupled with the odd fact weirdness popularized by Palahniuk and Beat the Reaper makes for a uniue and humorous read The mob and medicine have never been this ngaging together Last WordStunning debuts like Beat the Reaper do one thing leave you wanting Like a kid stomping his foot impatiently More Pietro Brwna streetwise dialogue intense heart stopping action More Josh Bazell After this gem people will be PostgreSQL Server Programming - Second Edition eagerly anticipating Bazell s next novel I know I m one of them And that s the first step admitting the problem Admitting you re a Bazell holic A very interesting and disturbing novel that sxcessive on violence specially toward some good and undeserving characters This would have rated higher with fewer innocents killed 7 of 10 stars Anybody who thinks the US doesn t need health care reform should read this book Since the author was a medical intern and the details about patient care seem horribly realistic I think I d rather read a Surgery For Dummies book and attempt my own future operations with a bottle of Jack Daniels a carpet knife duct tape and some rusty pliers rather than risk being admitted to a hospital after reading thisPeter Brown is a harried resident trying to get through another miserable day at a large hospital and keep his med students from killing too many patients But he s also a former mob hitman in witness protection trying to start a new life as a doctor When one of his old collegues shows up as a patient and recognizes him Brown spends the day juggling his medical duties while trying to keep his old pals from finding out where he is. The Doctor will see you nowMeet Peter Brown a young Manhattan ER Doctor who has a past he'd prefer to stay hidden When a figure from the old days This was a darkly fu This "IS ONE OF THE MOST UNIUE "one of the most uniue ntertaining novels I ve read in a long time At the age of fourteen Pietro Brwna is orphaned for a second time when someone murders the grandparents who had raised him for much of his life In school Pietro befriends the son of a mob lawyer Davide Locano and the Locanos become his new surrogate family But Pietro is determined to hunt down and kill the cretins who murdered his grandparents With Locano s
#assistance he identifies #he identifies killers and dispatches themIt s apparent that Pietro has a talent for this sort of thing and he ultimately becomes a mob hitman When complications nsue as they often do
in the hitman business pietro bails out andthe hitman business Pietro bails out and the witness protection program Several years later Dr Peter Brown is an intern at a New York hospital when a new patient recognizes him as Pietro and alerts the mob Now Dr Brown must deal with several medical mergencies while the mobsters converge on the hospital anxious to make Dr Brown himself a terminal caseThis is at once a hilarious and gut wrenching story Josh Bazell has a wicked sense of humor and as an MD himself he writes a tale in which the misadventures that occur in the hospital are perhaps ven hair raising than the criminal activity that takes place outside of it Peter Brown is an inspired character unlike anyone you ve ver met in a novel before and he narrates a gripping story with a climax that has to be read to be believed Finishing the book though I came away with the feeling that I d rather take my chances against mob hitmen hunting for me as opposed to going into a hospital for ven a minor proceedure When I started reading this I had the vague xpectation that it was going to be some sort of urban fantasy It wasn t But that didn t keep me absolutely loving it It s funny clever fast moving irreverent and horrifying in turns I highly recommend it Unless you re a hypochondriac If you are you should avoid it like the plague heh Hey fuckheadYep you the one with the track marks running down both arms trying to slide off into oblivion with the tilted head and the faraway The Road From Home: The Story Of An Armenian Girl expression staring at the sun like it s some four headed monster ready to steal your dreams twitching for your next fix like some random dog left out in the rain too long with a stutter stepping walk and attitude veering off from the rest of the universe like a bad dream you might want to sit this one out otherwise you might have than just a fogged up brain on your hands You may want to study a medical chart and have your CT scanned and actually study ligaments and tendons and muscles and bones and maybeven pass an anatomy class although that might be too much to ask because you re about to get your ass kicked and you ll need to be able to piece yourself back together later with the doctor s help of course And frankly that s what you re going to need loads and loads of helpThe medical industry is Exile and Pilgrim encased in a shitstorm the likes of which your coke snorting ass has never seen and it s about to get worse for you and your fellow fuckhead Americans And if you can stop being a worthless piece of horseshit for than one fucking minute you might actually have a prayer at making it in this world instead ofnding up in some premature unmarked grave all by your lonesome staring at the bottom of a coffin at the age of twenty two with your yes wide openThe good news is you ll die of lethal injection probably at the hands of some no name doctor when all you did was go and see the man about a head cold So at least you ll have that going for you Because if I really wanted to kill you I could shove a cork down your throat or jack you full of potassium until your yes bleed or I could have one of the Latvian nurses on my floor who is really nothing than a worthless piece of shit who smokes weed than she does rounds and surfs the Internet like she has a gun held to her head ignore your ass for the rest of your miserable life peppering your chart with the standard healthy readings when really you re secretly dying of stomach cancerAnd don t forget that I ve worked for the mob hell they brought me into their family not the one where I had to pro. Merges it looks increasingly unlikely that his secret will stay intact Nicholas LoBrutto aka Eddy Suillante is given three months to live and it's.