[KINDLE] The Wonderful Wizard of Oz author L. Frank Baum
Orothy seeks out the Wizard of Oz by mapuesting Emerald City or alternately the City of Emeralds and on the way she meets a Scarecrow a Tin Woodman and a Lion who are all needy and want to bask n the glow of her super hot blinding aura and fierce fantabulousness and bum a few amphetamines The Wizard who likes to mix up his corporeal manifestations appears to them True Norwegian Black Metal in his Emerald City throne room Picture Antwan Big Boi Patton s house on Cribs but with fewer stripper poles and lots green marblen the forms of a giant Little Richard sized head a Sears catalog swimsuit model a vaguely menacing monster and a talking ball of fire Obviously the Wizard has been to see Cirue de Soleil and knows the power of a little u b cois razzle dazzle Whilst filing his nails and reading the latest Misadventures at City Hall issue of Interview with Drew Barry on the cover the Wizard tells his motley supplicants that yeah yeah sure he will grant their stupid retarded wishesf they murder the Wicked Witch of the West a Tribeca scenester who s always bogarting Page Six with her leather daddy winged monkey warehouse parties Dorothy Crew reluctantly agree an act of volition which effectively makes Dorothy the youngest hit girl n the history of YA literature and the only one to ever wear lace trimmed socklets Eventually during a wet t shirt contest the witch melts and Dorothy still flush with her first taste of killing sweet killing returns with her entourage to the Wizard to claim her payoff But then gosh golly gee whiz The Tears of Angels ( Anderson Costello, in a startling atheistic allegory the all powerful Wizards revealed to be an العاجز impotent little Wallace Shawn type standing behind a screen fiddling with some sound board knobs Nietzsche couldn t ve saidt any better The Wizard who realizes he s dealing with a bunch of saps here pretends to grant everyone s wishes except Dorothy s cuz he s totally jealous of her fabulousness and they actually fall for Operation Killer Comet it Dorothy burnt out on the Emerald City scene and suffering from dehydration and exhaustion longs to return to Kansas to start her autobiographical blog A bunch of stupid stuff happens some of whichnvolve a hot air balloon and bitch slapping trees and the uartet make their way to Glinda the Witch of the South to see The Frankenstein Factory if she can grant Dorothy s wish and thereby prove that she s at least somewhat less worthless than everybody elsen OzOn the way to the Glinda s hood the posse comes across a village where all the people are made of china and break easily Gee I wonder why they left that great episode out of the film and after the Lion accidentally destroys one of their china churches with his tail I m not kidding giving The Bandit Knife: Kung Fu's Rebellious Weapon impetus to hate crime legislation the world over the Tin Woodman decapitates some wolves with his ax Dorothy skips and frolics through the gory pools of matted fur blood and steaming viscera and asks Glinda who appears to be on uaaludes for a trip home Glinda as useless as every other allegedly magical personn Oz tells her that the cheap ass Steve Madden shoes she s been wearing could ve gotten her back to Kansas all along And by the way when she returns to the Sticks she should really take off those Chinese panda skin leatherette things They ll give her fatal foot rashSo Dorothy uses the magic of those shoes made In Sunlight and in Shadow in China under the brand name of a manmprisoned for magical tax evasion to return to Kansas where her Aunt and Uncle have long since forgotten about her and adopted a attractive Latvian girl who s not too prissy to hand Hoje Preferia Não Me Ter Encontrado inseminate the cows Dorothy overdoses one nightn a dilapidated feed barn on a potent mixture of Robitussin and Gas X and Judy Davis plays her The Hounds of Tindalos in a television movie that no one remembers long enough to have forgotten Book 20100 for 2015I really really liked this book I honestly had pretty low expectations goingnto this book and thought Be Like Newlyweds Again: The Secrets of Bringing Back The Romance in Your Marriage (Weddings by Sam Siv Book 16) it wouldn t compare at all to the greatness of the 1939 movie whichs one of my favorite movies but I was wrong It was one of the best children s classics that I ve ever read and I even loved how Wyatt and Josie Earp's Cookbook it wasn t that similar to the movie sot kept me nterested I also had a beautiful hardcover Puffin Classics edition so that make the experience even better All n all I m so glad that I had to read t for my class Click here to watch a video review of this book on my channel From Beginning to BookendDorothy Gale and her little dog Toto are swept away by a tornado from Kansas all the way to the Land of Oz With a little help from the Witch of the North Dorothy and Toto set off down a road paved with yellow bricks n search of the City of Emeralds and the Wizard of Oz a man said to have the power to help Dorothy find her way back to Kansas The cyclone had set the house down very gently for a cyclone n the midst of a country of marvelous beauty There were lovely patches of green sward all about with stately trees bearing rich and luscious fruits Banks of gorgeous flowers were on every hand and birds with rare and brilliant plumage sang and fluttered n the trees and bushes Along the way Dorothy makes some unusual new friends each of which desire something from the Wizard of
Oz Do you think Oz could give me courage asked the cowardly Lion Do you think Oz could give me courage asked the cowardly Lion as easily as he could give me brains said the Scarecrow Or give me a heart said the Tin Woodman Or send me back to Kansas said DorothyThen f you don t mind I ll go with you said the Lion for my life s simply unbearable without a bit of courage In the late eighteen hundreds children s stories often featured familiar mythical creatures and were written with the express ntent to deliver a moral lesson L Frank Baum took a different approach when he began writing The Wonderful Wizard of Oz He ntended to write a children s book with new fantasy creatures Angel Heart in a realm yet unexplored and his efforts were a marvelous success Dorothy s journey through the colorful and peculiar Land of Oz reveals an array of creatures like winged monkeys talking china dolls and bearlike Kalidahs The Wonderful Wizard of Ozs not the technicolor film known by millions but rather a surprisingly grim tale that Perennial Combinations: Stunning Combinations That Make Your Garden Look Fantastic Right from the Start is absent of ruby slippers and cities with emerald green structures Ast came nearer the Tin Woodman saw that running before the beast was a little gray field mouse and although he had no heart he knew Does a Pig Flush?: Early Experiences it was wrong for the wildcat to try to kill such a pretty harmless creature So the Woodman raised his axe and as the wildcat ran by he gavet a uick blow that cut the beast s head clean off from Art and Electronic Media its body andt rolled over at his feet n two pieces With uirky llustrations an amusing sense of logic and delightful characters The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Die Geburt Bei Den Urv�lkern: Eine Darstellung Der Entwicklung Der Heutigen Geburtskunde Aus Den Nat�rlichen Und Unbewussten Gebr�uchen Aller Rassen (Classic Reprint) is a gratifying start to a well loved series ENGLISH The Wonderful Wizard of Oz ITALIANODorothys a young girl who lives with her aunts Raising The Red Flag in a small farmn Kansas Due to a tornado she Jeannie: A Love Story is catapulted with her housen a freaky village Dorothy s journey which I discovered at 38 thanks to my daughter and to the well established habit of reading something to her before going to bed begins A Thousand Splendid Suns in this way The thing thatmpressed me most about this wonderful story s that the title The Wonderful Wizard of
is rather misleading Yes because Oz s neither the protagonist the novel nor the ultimate goal of Dorothy s journey Oz appears or less at half of the novel and he remains I Will Bear Witness, Volume 2: a Diary of the Nazi Years 1942-1945 in the story for no than 50 pages Surely Dorothy and her cheerful company start the search for the wizard of Oz almostmmediately However the story that Miklos Alexandrovitch Is Missing! involves directly orndirectly Oz ends n an unexpected way almost prematurely and n my opinion this Aghora II is a strenght of the story When Oz disappeared from the storyt was funny to see the confused face of my daughter saying WHAT HE S GONE HOW IS IT POSSIBLE and I realized how successful was L Frank Baum s attempt to mislead the readersYoung people heartly fantasize Me tooVote 8Dorothy una fanciulla che vive con gli zii Revolutionary Girl Utena, Volume 1 in una piccola fattoria nell Kansas A causa di una tromba d aria la sua abitazione viene catapultata con lei dentron paese uanto meno bislacco Comincia cos "il viaggio di dorothy che ho scoperto a "viaggio di Dorothy che ho scoperto a anni suonati grazie a mia figlia e all abitudine ormai consolidata di farsi leggere ualcosa prima di andare a letto non la trasposizione cinematografica uella la conoscevo gi La cosa che pi mi ha colpito di uesto splendido racconto come The Little China Pig (A Rand McNally Junior Elf Book) il titolo Il meraviglioso mago di Oz sia fuorviante Si perch Oz non nl protagonista n l obiettivo finale della ricerca della piccola Dorothy Il personaggio di Oz appare pi o meno a met racconto e ci rimane per non pi di 50 pagine Di sicuro la ricerca del mago di Oz comincia uasi fin da subito da parte della piccola Dorothy e della sua allegra compagnia Tuttavia la vicenda che coinvolge direttamente o Uptown; Poor Whites In Chicago indirettamente Oz si concluden maniera Fragments of Isabella: A Memoir of Auschwitz inaspettata uasi prematuramente e uesto secondo me un punto di forza del racconto Con l uscita di scena del mago di Oz vedere la faccia spiazzata di mia figlia che dice Ma come Se n andato COME E POSSIBILE stato divertente appagante e mi fa capire uanto sia riuscitol tentativo di L Frank Baum di spiazzare Minzokugaku to Minzokugaku i lettoriFantasticano assai pi piccoli E anche oVoto City There they hope to meet the legendary all powerful Wizard of Oz who alone may hold the power to grant their every wishJust as captivating as t was a hundred years ago this s a story that all ages will love. .
Oz s rather misleading Yes because Oz s neither the protagonist
L. Frank Baum ½ 4 SummaryThis Aagay Sumandar Hai / آگے سمندر ہے is one of the most bizarre books I ve ever read The fantasy elements are all rather ordinary There s a secret world beyond that of our own thiss a standard trope of the genre CS Lewis would soon follow suit and Making Him Sweat (Wilinski's, inspire later generations But the points the Land of Oz The Great Divergence: China, Europe, and the Making of the Modern World Economy is just weird Seems like a bland criticism though the entire point of the plots to have good triumph over evil But what s evil Beyond the actual name of the antagonist the Wicked Witch of the West we don t actually know much about her Is she really that bad It seems unusual to create such an evilly nduced character and then have her preform no evil t sort of makes the whole moral of the story seem uestionable Simply put an apt summary of the story would be a little girl meets three freaks and goes on a killing spree n a fucked up world Indeed the heroes of the tale aren t exactly what I d define as good Are they evil heroes Dorothy s completely unheroic She kills another evil witch on her entry nto the land her first act Library Wars: Love and War 10 is to accidently commit murder All her successs down to unbelievable blind luck t gets to the point that she performs a completely random action like throwing water at someone and she somehow saves the day It d just odd The Tin Woodsman s an even stranger figure We have an entire chapter devoted to the saving of a colony of mice yet at one point he cuts a leopard s head off despite travelling Crossing Boarders in the company of a lion Does this sound like children s fiction For me this was slightly hypocritical It s like the authors saying we should be nice to some animals only It made little sense And then there s the whole separate ssue of how the woodman managed to survive so many decapitationsI can understand why this book was so popular to ts earlier audiences The Outcast Highlander it s a very early attempt at fantasy so there wasn t a great deal uite like this around at the time I think for a child who just sees the basic plot of this they would easily become lost But when you readt as an adult you just can t help but think this sn t right I could go on I could go on to explain how the structure s a slight mess Each chapter Baiae is almost likets own enclosed story that s could be read section by section each night before bed But as an actual novel the progression of chapters really Celebrity, Inc.: How Famous People Make Money is uite poor I picked out two points where the novel really should have ended yett kept going on when the climax had finished and all momentum has been lost For me this book In Den Nachmittag Geflüstert Gedichte 1909 1914 is an example of an overly hyped cultural phenomenon Many people claim to love this book but many haven t actually readt Everyone my age I have ever met has watched the film at some point Reid Alleje 2 in their life the basic narratives embodied nto their cultural psyche which happens with many literary classics of this type The point s the book here Die Besessene is a very different thing Implore everyone who bases their knowledge and perhaps love of this on the movie to actually sit down and read the horrendous work Ghost Flight (Will Jaeger, in uestion then you may see whatt actually Kafir Liberal is a vile little story thats accidently evil This one was uite a shocker The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Flight or Fight is a brief and magical adventure tale filled straightforward prose predictable plot and uninteresting protagonists with a penchant for morbidity self mutilation and decapitation while whimsically traipsing alongn a bizarre land chock full of eldritch creatures Whirled by a cyclone Dorothy an Vlad III Dracula: The Life and Times of the Historical Dracula innocent harmless little girl and Toto her adorable dog are whisked awayn a peculiar land From there they tag along with eccentric beings and eventually meet the stuffed Scarecrow who wished he had a brain except that his head Divided like Destiny is full of straws the sueaky and rusty Tin Woodman who lost his heart literally and the Cowardly Lion who s always terror stricken Hoping that each of their wishes would be granted they travel to the Emerald City where the wonderful wizard Oz the Great and Terribles enthroned The great wizard will only grant their heart s desires on the condition that they seek out and destroy the Wicked Witch of the West And so their uest begins My Burden and Prayer inner kiddo didn t uite approve of this one The magical elements were good but not enthralling at all Was this written specifically for children I find this story highly disturbing and better suited for mature audiences please refer to my first paragraph A word of caution to parentsguardians kindly read this first before givingt to your children as Where's Ringo? it might be a bit overwhelming and horrifying for sensitive young readers Honestly I prefer Dahl s and Carroll s stories becausellogical as The Cat Club it might seem the whimsical and hilarious elements fuse well together to create an entertaining comical narrative whilst masking the macabre portion of the booke children will Yo Quiero Decir Sunburn interprett as tommyrot and will laugh at A Witch Alone it while adults will seet as ghoulish f they analyse the text further The first few pages were wonderful to read especially when Dorothy s house unfortunately landed on a despicable victim The ueen of the Field Mice was a delightful character Others belong n town dullsville There s educational value here but the moral lesson that Baum wanted to Der Spinnenmann impart the children can be foundn other Stundenplan interesting novels out there There s no doubt thatt was successful Open Source Fuzzing Tools ints own time but I find this a dated fantasy tale Ralph Peer and the Making of Popular Roots Music in the present I have to congratulate Michael Sieben for his remarkablellustrations as well as Anne Hathaway s stupendous narration though However the aforementioned works didn t save this novel from my dismal rating of 25 stars rounded down Audiobook rating narrated by Anne HathawayNarrative voice style Vocal characterisation Inflexion ntonation Voice uality verdict The Wizard
of as An Economic Parable A Short IntroductionThis might be common knowledge or t might not be Some economics textbooksOz as An Economic Parable A Short IntroductionThis might be common knowledge or Beauty Wreckage (Broken Crowns it might not be Some economics textbooks thiss a wonderfully esoteric nugget The story of Oz was an economic parable Take that all you who said economics can t be funRedistributions of wealth caused by unexpected changes The Cuckolds Calling in the price level are often a source of political turmoil From 1880 to 1896 the price leveln the United States fell 23 percent This deflation was good for Haves creditors primarily the bankers of the Northeast but Motherland: A Novel it was bad for Have Nots debtors primarily the farmers of the South and West The deflation was blamed almost exclusively on the now notorious Gold Standard and a proposed move towards Silver wasnstead the craved for alternativeThe Silver Fractions: The First Half of The Fall Revolution issue dominated the presidential election of 1896 William McKinley the Republican nominee campaigned on a platform of preserving the gold standard William Jennings Bryan the Democratic nominee ranged boldly against Gold and for Silver In a famous speech Bryan proclaimed You shall not press down upon the brow of labor this crown of thorns you shall not crucify mankind upon a cross of gold Not surprisingly McKinley was the candidate of the conservative eastern establishment whereas Bryan was the candidate of the southern and western populistsThen came The Wizard of Oz The midwestern journalist L Frank Baum tells the story of Dorothy a girl lostn a strange land far from her home n Kansas Dorothy representing traditional American values makes three friends a scarecrow the farmer a tin woodman the ndustrial worker and a lion whose roar exceeds his might William Jennings Bryan Together the four of them make their way along a perilous yellow brick road the gold standard hoping to find the Wizard who will help Dorothy return homeEventually they arrive The Divide: American Injustice in the Age of the Wealth Gap in Oz Washington where everyone sees the world through green glasses money The Wizard William McKinley tries to be all things to all people but turns out to be a fraud Dorothy s problems solved only when she learns about the magical power of her otherwise ordinary silver slippers Unfortunately the movie forgot the parable and omitted the silver slippers thus depriving the majority of the audience of the real delight Latin for Children Primer a DVDs Chant CD in the victoryThe Republicans The Wizard won the election of 1896 and the United States stayed on a gold standard but the Free Silver advocates got thenflation that they wanted after gold was discovered n Alaska Australia and South Africa Even later Gold was abandoned altogether and the fraudster wizards was never heard from again Dorothy and Baum had the last laugh over the unwanted magical oppression of the Yellow Brick Road and the green tinted world Well at least from the road Ah such fun I don t think I ll read the rest of the series but I did really enjoy this Dorothy from Kansas wherever that s lives with her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry on the flat American prairie the harsh Sun beating down from the gray sky making everything turn gray the gray grass house clothes and especially the people animals are probably gray too might seem the least likely place that she visits that s real No trees brooks beautiful birds singing or anything colorful around the poor farm But our adventures begin when a tornado lifts unlucky Dorothy her dog Toto and only friend while nside their small one room house up Brazilian Surrender into the swirling whistling ominous black sky scared When Dorothy and her little dog Toto are caughtn a tornado they and their Kansas farmhouse are suddenly transported to Oz where Munchkins live monkeys fly and Wicked Witches rule Desperate to return home and wit. Unt Em n the cellar a dark hole n the ground under the floor hiding and Uncle Henry outside taking care of the frightened farm animals The little girl Godforsaken Idaho is all alone with her dog as the strong winds of the storm takes her higher and higher always going above and further from Dorothy s loved ones whichs the blood relative Und Nietzsche weinte is strangely never stated After countless hours pass she falls asleep on her bed Awakening by a loud noise the house crashing down on the ground the next day terrifying Dorothy opening slowly the door shes stunned all s beautiful brilliant colors green grass a lovely stream gorgeous flowers trees with delicious fruit hanging on their branches birds sweetly singing everywhere her eyes can see blue skies But weird uite small people are timidly coming towards Dorothy they think she s a horrible powerful witch the juvenile feels uneasy looking fully grown like the Munchkins yet still a little girl s size they welcome her to this wonderland And thanking the girl for their freedom by killing the wicked Witch of the East whose body lies underneath the house The pretty Witch of the North and Peer Support Handbook for the Police Officer is good also unheard of news spreads uicklyn the Land of Oz gives Dorothy the magical silver shoes of the dead sorceress The farm girl wants to get back home to Kansas asks directions nobody knows The Devil's Double Buch, Deutsch Ausgabe: Ich war Saddams Sohn it but all tell Dorothy to follow the yellow brick road to the Emerald City where the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz presumably lives and rules Troubles people never see the terrible wizard but he s the only one who can help Dorothy get back On the long journey the young girl and Toto meet the brainless failure the Scarecrow stuck on a pole the Tin Woodman rusting outside n a forest tin doesn t rust the Cowardly Lion attacking the group on the road and afterwards crying all join Dorothy on her B is for Buckeye: An Ohio Alphabet impossible uest for a brain a heart and courage the joke of this storys that every traveler already has them even Dorothy s wish can be easily achieved Wide ditches have to be jumped wild animals fought rivers crossed ugly flying monkeys bees poisonous blue red yellow white and purple flowers thick gloomy forests strange people some unfriendly and not made of flesh the evil dreadful Witch of the West Angriff The German Attack On Stalingrad In Photos in hermpenetrable dismal castle but that s later must be overcome to reach the fabulous Emerald City They have a secret weapon Toto s not afraid of anything he can look behind the curtain My 8 year old decided she wanted to read this one and we just finished buddy reading two different copies The copy she s reading s a new Scholastic version which s just a simple paperback with an adorable cover I went ahead and picked up this 100th anniversary edition for our home library because t s llustrated large print and hardcover which I love I m sure most already know the story The beginning opens with a cyclone that carries Dorothy Up North Michigan Wines by the Bay: Leelanau and Old Mission Peninsulas Explored in her house along with her little dog Toto all the way to a foreign land Her house falls on a wicked witch killing her resultingn Dorothy becoming a hero On her journey to find the wizard she meets a scarecrow a tin woodman and a cowardly lionDorothy s love for her new found friends Reckless: My Life as a Pretender is heartwarming and theresn t anything she wouldn t do for them Together they embark on an adventure to find the Emerald City Each of the four travelers has a reuest for the wizard the scarecrow wants brains the tin woodman a heart and the lion needs courage Dorothy s only reuest s to be sent back home to Aunt Em n Kansas It s uite fascinating what can be accomplished Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now if you only believe No matter how dreary and gray our homes are we people of flesh and blood would rather live there thann any other country be Guns of Arizona: A Land Where Legends Are Made it ever so beautiful Theres no place like home I can t remember the last time I read The Wonderful Wizard of Oz but Bitter Creek Posse: A tale of the Old West it was probably sometime around 5th grade or so We had a tattered up copyn our school library I m not even sure Dárek z pravé lásky: 12 zimních políbení if I finishedt because this time around I was amazed with the differences Bulls and Burglars in the book compared to the Hollywood movie Some events were left outn the film while others were added Rambles Around Folkestone: And Other Special Articles (Classic Reprint) in which madet even exciting The Way of the Scarlet Pimpernel including the entire beginning of the movie Details were also different Not only that parts of the book were fairly dark for young readers He seized his axe which he had made very sharp and as the leader of the wolves came on the Tin Woodman swung his arm and chopped the wolf s head fromts body so that Stevie itmmediately died As soon as he could raise his axe another wolf came up and he also fell under the sharp edge of the Tim Woodman s weapon There were forty wolves and forty times a wolf was killed so that at last they all lay dead Fairy Tales in a heap before the Woodman We enjoyed reading about the magical world L Frank Baum has createdn The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Just picture t with fighting trees flying monkeys munchkins and witches There was no telling what would happen next We connected with all the characters tooI was one of those children who waited for the movie to come on local television channels every single year I was entranced when Dorothy got sucked up nto the tornado along with her house and Toto One of the most exciting parts for me was when the movie transitioned from black and white to color I was obsessed with the movie The book may not be as extravagant as the movie and there are many differences but the book *is still magical with great characters There are many good lessons * still magical with great characters There are many good lessons children to learn as wellThis was a very creative children s fantasy Heaven's Garden in my opinion Thellustrations throughout were a treat and make the story even Moving into Meditation: A 12-Week Mindfulness Program for Yoga Practitioners interesting It s a book perfect for all ages I m not suref we ll reread The Night Before Baseball at the Park by the Bay it anytime soon but my eight year old and ten year old kids enjoyedt as much as I did I ve read the second book and plan to finish the entire series eventually4You can see this review with Erlebtes Bauen Ost-Berlin 1959 Bis 1989: Fotografien Von Gisela Stappenbeck illustrations Once upon a time there lived a Golden Age gaycon who whiled away her pre waxing years sitting atop a split rail fence Keep Smiling Through in some dour nondescript American Midwest landscape Her dreams of a outrageously fierce existencen the big city wearing roller skates and one foot diameter afro wigs and dancing to Army of Lovers Strange Travelers: New Selected Stories in between lines of blow were hemmedn on all sides by rusted farm euipment NAPA Auto Parts Stores and a lone dejected Applebee s out on the turnpike Kansas didn t even have a meth lab yet Or a Sally Beauty Supply Her nascent fabulousness was mprisoned by voluminous swaths of gingham satin
RIBBONS AND FUSSY LACE COLLARS NONE OF THEM UNFORTUNATELYand fussy lace collars none of them unfortunately ronically with a lollipop or a pacifier or Harajuku style at the behest of Aunt Em a woman whose character Yoga for Everyone: 50 Poses for Every Type of Body is explained by the shocking fact that the better part of her non church wardrobe was purchased at uality Farm Fleet I know Couldn t you just dieThis girl as yet scarcely old enough to have a couple of cherries or a leaping dolphin tattooed near her cameltoe was named Dorothy One day like so many dreamy eyed girls she donned her Skechers and her discount department store jeans and waited for a meteorological disaster to rescue her from her sad glitterless rural life As luck would havet one day an especially violent cyclone rated EF4 by the local weather service carved a bloody path of destruction misery and death through central Kansas carrying Dorothy s trailer with her and her dog Toto Bach Flower Therapy: Theory and Practice inside watching Judge Judy highnto the troposphere At first Dorothy mistook the rhythmic vibrations for a circuit party and looked under the bed for her whistle but soon enough she realized she was airborne And t felt Fab U Lous She thought she even spotted a cross country Virgin America flight with Diana Ross sitting n first class refusing a skunky glass of Chardonnay and calling the stewardess an uppity white bitch She ll have Dershowitz on the phone when she gets to LAX But maybe Dorothy was unconscious and magining t all At any rate she was The North American Journals of Prince Maximilian of Wied: April–September 1833 immune to the ghastly soul rending shrieks rising from below of a Kansas mother cradling her dead baby who wasmpaled by a windswept awl n the cyclone She was busy listening to Yahoo by Erasure on her Pod Eventually after floating around earth s gaseous atmosphere for a couple of hours dreaming of Barney s Co op Sale Dorothy landed California, Dreaming of Love (50 U.S. States Romance Novel Series) in some unknown land flatroned her hair and repositioned her training thong Outside her trailer a bunch of ghetto midgets were milling around with some old witchy broad No Mr. Monk and the New Lieutenant it wasn t that berfem Glinda liken the movie No Will of My Own: How Patriarchy Smothers Female Dignity Personhood it was some tired ass old mannish thing looking like Linda Huntn The Year of Living Dangerously Basically this bitch Armagnac: The Definitive Guide To France's Premier Brandy is no help at all She s supposedly a witch and you d think she d know the way to the Meatpacking District but all she doess give her some cheap ass silver shoes Steve Madden yuck and kiss Dorothy on the forehead leaving this magical lipmark Dorothy suspects t s herpes simplex one and hightails t outta there before the witch gives her boxed wine and has her pose for art photographs Yes I remember the very special episode of Diff rent Strokes with Gordon Jump very well thank you very muchOkay you know the rest of the story for the most part H the Wicked Witch of the West on their trail Dorothy and Toto together with new friends the Tin Woodsman Scarecrow and cowardly Lion embark on a fantastic uest along the Yellow Brick Road n search of the Emerald. .